“I am a laughingstock to my friends; I, who called to God and he answered me, a just and blameless man, am a laughingstock.” (Job 12:4 ESV).
As Job maintained his righteousness, his friends continued to disagree with him. Job, who had lost his children, most of his possessions and whose body was covered in sores, now had to contend with the accusing advice of his three “friends.” While there is much to learn about the problem of evil and human suffering in the book of Job, there is also something to be learned about how to be a friend to one in grief. Job’s three friends did a couple of things right at first. They showed up. They sat quietly with Job for the first seven days. These are good things. But then, they began with the advice and the accusations.
When we seek to comfort a friend in grief, let us be present and listen, grieving with them. But refrain from telling them you know how they feel, or how they should feel, or what they did wrong, or what they should do next. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything. Just pray for them, hug them, bring them food, clean their house, offer to run errands. If they want your advice, they will ask. Don’t be like Job’s friends.
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank You that You are near to the broken hearted. Teach us how to truly comfort others as You comfort us. Help us to be present with those who grieve, to listen with compassion, and to pray with faith. May our words, when spoken, be full of grace and truth, never adding to the wounds of the hurting but pointing them gently to You, the God of all comfort. In Jesus’ name, amen.