The Danger of Communication: Anger
Family Talk

Transcript

All right, good morning, church. It's good to see all of you here this morning. We are in part three of our series. We're going through Ephesians, chapter four, together in a series we've entitled, “Family Talk.”

It's the apostle Paul's word to the church, not just to your house, but to our house as a church, on communication. Our theme verse for this passage is found in verse 15, Ephesians 4:15 (ESV) 15 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” So, it's about communication, it's about speaking the truth, balanced by love, with a goal of unity, being one in Christ as the head and we are the body. So that's what we're talking about in chapter four.

Today, we're going to talk about a topic that's true in every family. It's true with every person; it’s the topic of anger. Every believer faces it and it can be dangerous to our unity if it's not rightly handled. So, let's be honest.

Anger shows up in every home and every relationship. It shows up in the church, and it can flare up with a harsh word or it can simmer beneath the surface like a cold shoulder, but left unchecked, anger can wreak havoc on relationships that God has called us to nurture and to be at one with. Uncontrolled sinful anger is a danger to our family communication in God's house and at our house. In his book, “Good and Angry,” David Powlison says this,

“We all have firsthand experience with anger gone wrong. We’ve dished it out. We’ve been on the receiving end. We’ve heard and seen others get angry at each other.

At some point in each day you are probably affected by some form of anger gone bad—either your own or someone else’s… And yet anger done right is a great good. It says, 'That’s wrong’ and acts to protect the innocent and helpless. It says, ‘That’s wrong’ and energizes us to address real problems. God, who is good and does good, expresses good anger for a good cause.”

So, Powlison concludes that quote in his book, “Good and Angry.” Whether we're talking about your family or the church family, the way we deal with anger will either strengthen or sabotage our relationships. Anger itself isn't always sin, but it can lead to sin and it can tear down our relationships. But with God's wisdom, we can handle anger appropriately. As we look at the apostle Paul's word to us today and to the church at Ephesus, he exhorted believers that the way we deal with anger will either help us strengthen or cause us to sabotage our relationships.

We control our anger as members of the body of Christ. As we look at the text today, I think we'll see three ways that this is true, that, as members of the body of Christ, we can control our anger, achieve and continue in oneness with the Lord. Let's start at verse 25, and we'll read down through verse 29 of chapter four. Ephesians 4:25-29 (ESV) 25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” This is God's word.

Amen. We're looking for three ways that we can control our anger as members of Christ's body. Here's the first way:

1. By avoiding sinful anger.

Notice in verse 26, that Paul doesn't say, “Never be angry.” That would not surprise us. As believers, we often equate anger with sin. It often is, but not always, because God gets angry, as we've mentioned before.

So, anger can be a right response, or it can be a selfish response to an offense. So, he doesn't say, ‘Never be angry.’ In fact, he surprises us by saying, “Be angry.” That's what he says, in verse 26, “Be angry and do not sin.”

Anger is not always sinful. It can be a right response to injustice, but it is dangerous. We must admit the danger of anger, because it often goes wrong for us. As we look at this in verse 25, he begins by talking about putting away falsehood. In other words, stop lying.

Start speaking the truth with your neighbor. And then he says, “for we are members one of another.” He's reminding us of the theme of chapter four and that is, as the body of Christ, we are to grow up to maturity and oneness in Christ, with Him being the head and us being the body. So, his desire here is that our communication would have the goal of

not just being heard, of not just expressing yourself and getting it off your chest, but of oneness in Christ, at your house and in God's house. Now, he begins to deal with one of the dangers of communication and that's angry communication. That anger can harm our relationships, or it can actually help, if it's handled appropriately with God's help. So it's kind of an unusual command verb here, “Be angry.”

If you look at it in the Greek, it's in the passive imperative. A passive verb in the Greek means that there was an external force acting on the person. So, there's something that happened that causes you to respond with anger. And the fact that it's an imperative seems odd. That's a strange thing to say, “Be angry.”

Do we go around being angry? It would have made more sense for him to say, ‘Don't be angry,’ but that's not what he says. He says, “Be angry and do not sin.” What he's talking about is that you're going to be angry.

Stuff is going to happen; it's going to tick you off. But, when it happens, don't fall into sinful anger. The NIV version gets at it like this, “In your anger, do not sin.” Let’s try to “unpack” that passive imperative Greek verb in your anger.

So, you're going to be angry, but when it happens, because it's going to happen, don't sin. Don't fall into sinful anger. Now, what is anger? Let's just ask Webster. What is anger?

Here's what Webster's dictionary says: “It's an intense emotional state induced by displeasure.” It's that heat that rises up. You feel your neck turning red, you feel your face turning red, you feel your ears turning red. Then, it just explodes out of the top of your head and out of your mouth, right?

It's an intense displeasure. We have all kinds of synonyms for anger: rage, fury, indignation, wrath. Then, we start using temperature words like “hot, boiling;” “she's hot around the collar.”

If you're from Wilson, North Carolina, we talk about being “sick” with anger. We say, “he's ill.” We use a lot of different sayings. If you're a Christian and you feel like being angry, “I'm not angry, I'm frustrated.”

We have a lot of words for anger, but still, anger, whatever you call it, it's the heart's emotional response to a felt offense, whether real or imagined. It's the heart's emotional response to a felt offense, whether real or imagined, because sometimes you attribute to someone that they did it on purpose when they accidentally did it. That's a different category. Or, you attribute it to something which really you should keep to yourself, but you didn't get your way.

So, that's selfish anger. Your expectations weren't met, so there's a kind of anger that's just purely sinful at its source. It was about your selfishness: “I want my way. I won't have expectations; I want to be in control

and that happened outside of my control.” I'm driving down Interstate 40 and I'm making good time and I told the people I'd be here at such and such time and then…. What in the world? Why is there a “parking lot” on Interstate 40 now? What's going on?

You look as far as you can. You can't see any reason why this has happened and you just feel it. There it comes; there comes that emotional response.

Now, who are you mad at? I don't know. I'm just mad. That might be sinful anger because you're not getting your way. I didn't want to be in a “parking lot” on Interstate 40.

So then, you're mad at your spouse. You're mad at your children; plus, they're getting chaotic back there. The AC is not working. Now that you're sitting still, you're not getting your way.

Some of you are just like that –He just described what happened to me this past week. So, why do we get angry? It is because our rights have been violated.

They called me something or I had to wait in line too long for my hamburger or whatever. We've been offended. That's why we get angry.

Is anger always sin? Not necessarily, but it often is. Now when he says, “Be angry and do not sin,” I've been talking about how unusual it is for Paul to say, “Be angry.” But the truth is, Paul is so well read in the Old Testament that when he's writing from the power and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he's often quoting the Old Testament.

Let's not miss this. Quoting David's work in the book of Psalms, Psalm 4:4. Here it says it verbatim, Psalm 4:4 (ESV) “Be angry, and do not sin;” That's where it was actually, way back there. He's actually quoting a well known saying.

But then, here's the additional information from David as he's writing in the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he says, “...ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” When you're angry, “count to 10.” That's good advice. Think about it and ask the mind of Christ, the Holy Spirit living within you, “Do I have a right to this anger that I'm feeling well up inside of me or do I need to put this in the category of, ‘Ooh, this is really sinful anger because I'm wanting my way or my expectations haven't been met?’ I probably just need to ponder this and be silent.” There is a category of sinful anger that, if you'll talk to the Holy Spirit about it in the moment and ask him to quiet your soul down, it never needs to be expressed.

That's good advice. That's often true. Is anger sin? Well, does God get angry? Yes.

Does God sin? No. But, His anger is different. He's got a long fuse. He's slow to get angry and when He gets angry, it's over quickly.

Notice these two verses, one from Exodus, Exodus 34:6 (ESV) …"The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” He's got a long fuse. It takes a lot to make him angry. He's slow to anger.

Those that would follow Christ and pursue Christ will be slow to anger. God's slow to anger, and He's also quick to get over it. It says in Psalm 30, Psalm 30:5 (ESV) “For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.”
His mercy lasts forever.

His anger is brief. We can be like God. However, our anger is often sinful. This is why James warns about it. It says in James, chapter one, James 1:19-20 (ESV) 19 “Know this, my beloved brothers:

let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” So, we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us. We can say, ‘Spirit, help me to know, is this sinful anger or is this righteous anger?’ If it's righteous anger, then we needed that adrenaline, we needed that heat as an impetus to push us towards reconciliation.

Often, we're cowardly about addressing problems in our relationships. I just won't hang out with them for a while. I'm mad at them. That's sinful anger to just go off and pout. It's not really a true offense where they've hurt you and they may not have done it on purpose, or they may have done it accidentally. If they've been hurting you in the same way over and over again, it's more and more likely it's on purpose.

If they're being sarcastic with you a lot, it might be that they're not handling their anger well and you're just now starting to pick up on it. But, there comes a point where, for your relationship to grow to unity, anger can actually be the emotion, the God-given emotion, that helps you get at it rather than avoiding it. We need the Holy Spirit to help us to know which one to do which category. In Proverbs we read this, Proverbs 29:11 (NIV) “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Now, in the book of Proverbs, he uses the word, “fool,” to describe a sinful approach and “wise” to describe a righteous approach to life. He says, ‘the fool gives full vent.’ In other words, they just blow up like Mount St. Helens. They build it up, build it up and then “blow.” It destroys everything around them.

They just give full vent. I needed to get that off my chest, you'll often hear them say. Maybe, they should have kept it there. But, a wise man keeps himself under control. This comes from the Lord, this kind of wisdom to do this.

If you look at the fruit of the spirit, it's the ninth character trait: self control. Or, if you're looking at the fruit singular, it's the ninth “seed in the apple.” Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. It's the one part that we really need in order to be wise in the Lord, to have self control over our emotions and over our anger. Anger is like a fire, it can warm your house or burn it down.

Sinful anger, it's like the kind of anger, especially when it's been simmering for a while, of having an unattended fire in your basement. By the time you smell the smoke, it's too late. It's already burnt your house down. We need to recognize what sinful anger can do to our relationships. Do you struggle with sinful anger? Your expectations aren't met or

you didn't get your way? You express it in all kinds of ways, sarcastic remarks, or even just blowing it completely. Pray like this, “Lord, help me; help me to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Give me a long fuse, slow to become angry and when I do feel the heat of anger, help me to bring it to the Holy Spirit and say, ‘Do I have a right to this anger or is this sinful anger based on my selfishness?’” These are things we can do in the power of Jesus as believers, we can get control of our anger.

We can avoid sinful anger. This leads to our second way that we can control anger as members of the body of Christ:

2. By addressing anger urgently.

Now you say be quick? Not quick; when it's right anger, you slow down. You count to ten, but don't count to a million. You count to ten in order to give the Holy Spirit time for you to ask, “Do I have a right to this anger?

Okay, actually, this really happened. It's not just an imagined offense. This really happened. This is going to hurt our relationship if I don't deal with it.” So now, you need to deal with it urgently.

Why? Because anger, left to itself, is a problem. Notice what Paul says, “Be angry and do not sin.” We've covered that.

“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” So, there's an urgency, there's a spiritual urgency to addressing anger. We need to address anger urgently. Anger unresolved, that's just left to simmer, turns to bitterness and bitterness turns to resentment as it settles deeper in your soul. That's where you'll just start to think, I don't even care if we have a relationship now.

You just start wanting to write that person off. It could be your spouse. You think, I'm done. It could be another relationship. It could be the church.

I'm done with that church. I'm gonna go find another church. We break things off because it turns to resentment. What really started out might have been a smaller thing, but we “stuffed” it and we didn't handle it urgently, which leads to verse 28. In studying verse 28, it gave me a challenge contextually,because it seems that he's talking about unity.

He's talking about communication. Verse 25 says to speak the truth with your neighbor. Okay? Then, in verse 29, it says,
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” So he's still talking about communication, but in the middle of it, he's got verse 28. He says, 28 “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.”
Stealers, stop stealing.

Thieves, stop stealing. Okay, well, that's good advice. Stop being a thief. It's okay, Paul, but the Holy Spirit's speaking through you.

So, I was trying to see how I could interpret this through the lens of the context. He's talking about communication. He's talking about the problem of anger and the danger of anger. How can I apply this? Certainly I can say, “Hey, don't steal,

because that'll cause people to be angry.” But then, I started thinking, what if we apply it like this: Because of his “purpose clause,” we can see it. Let's look at verse 28, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands.”

That's called a “purpose clause.” ‘Stop stealing and start working

so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.’ Do you know a “relationship thief?”

Do you know one? You don't? It could be you. It's someone who's a taker relationally; they're always in need.

Relationally, they are not a giver. They're not sharing, they're not working at the relationship. They're lazy in the relationship. They're a “relationship thief.” When reconciliation is needed, if they've let their anger go to resentment, they're not going to work at it.

Next. I'll get a new friend. I'll get in a new relationship. I'll find a new church. Perhaps, we could look at it like that. I think it certainly does apply to “don't steal, work hard” so you can be a giver instead of a taker. That's true, but what if we apply it to this context relationally?

Don't be a “relationship thief.” Do the hard work and do it urgently. Don't let the sun go down. I've heard it like this: A husband and wife go to bed at night, mad and angry.

There's two people in the bed, but they don't handle it. They stay mad. They wake up the next morning and there's three people in the bed. That's where he's headed here as he talks about giving the devil an opportunity. This urgency Jesus addresses in Matthew chapter five.

He says, inMatthew 5:23-24 (ESV) 23 “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” It might seem surprising, but here's what Jesus is teaching: Worship is important. Bring your offering. That's important to God, but make it a priority that you're right with your fellow believer, with your brother, because if not, you're being hypocritical by bringing your offering.

So first, get right with your brother. Get right with your sister. Anger, righteous anger, can be the emotional impetus to move you to make that appointment, to get together, to make that phone call. By the way, here is a “sidebar” tip: Don't text them or email them, because now it lives on and on. It is nonverbal. You can't see the face; you can't feel the emotion.

They can keep rereading it and letting the devil tell them what it meant when it's not what it meant. Make a phone call and make an appointment to have coffee. Really talk to the person, so they can see your face and hear your demeanor. We want to be a relationship thief; what we want to do is make it as easy on ourselves as possible to reconcile.

I'm gonna fire off. I'm gonna just send them a text. So many times, I see that it makes things worse.

We'll keep moving here. This is what we're talking about – be careful about being urgent, addressing these things. Look what it says in Hebrews about this urgency and about working at peace. It says, inHebrews 12:14-15 (NLT) 14 “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.

15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” Work at your marriage; work at your friendships. Invest in other people. When anger comes up and you've identified, through the Holy Spirit's gifting the mind of Christ within you, that you have a right to this anger, move towards improving the relationship as the goal of oneness.

Then move on it. Don't wait. Move on it. What's a way I could describe this urgency, the need for it, when it's righteous anger to you and to myself?

I began to think, Okay, what would be a good illustration? Imagine a boil. It's just right under the skin. You can barely feel it, but it's tender to the touch.

Then, it starts turning red. At first you think, Well, maybe it is a mosquito bite. But, it keeps getting bigger, it keeps growing, it becomes hot and inflamed and then it becomes what doctors call an “angry boil.” Have you ever had one of those? Man, those things hurt and left unattended will fester with infection and may require surgery

because it could affect the whole limb that it's on, your whole arm or your whole leg. It could affect the whole body. It might require at some point a surgical response to get rid of it, when it would have been so much easier when it was just a little boil to address it. Anger's like that. It's like an “angry” boil that can infect your soul.

If you address it quickly, urgently, it can be handled more easily. But, if you wait and you let it fester, it'll often destroy your relationship with another person. Here's another way of looking at it. It's like dirty dishes. When you handle dishes right after supper and you go ahead and wash them,

oh, sure, it's nasty. You might get some food on you. It's work. But if you leave them overnight, you gotta get tools out to get the food off of the dishes and off of the pots and pans.

Anger is like that. “Don't let the sun go down on your anger” and by the way, don't wait until bedtime to work on it either, because you'll be up all night. Be urgent as you deal with anger. This is good advice; when anger lingers, it must be addressed urgently.

We can pray, as members of Christ's body, “Lord, help us to know when it's right anger or when it's sinful anger. If it's sinful anger, help us to confess it to you and to release it. If it's righteous anger, help us to know how to move forward with wisdom, to know how to work on our relationship with one another.” This leads us to the third way that we can control our anger as members of the body of Christ:

3. By acknowledging anger’s danger.

It's by acknowledging anger's danger. By the way, if you take one letter off of danger, you get angry, right? You take the “d” off of danger and you get angry. Anger is dangerous. That's where Paul's at now in verse 27.

I hinted at it a minute ago. Verse 27, “and give no opportunity to the devil.” Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down in your anger. Give no opportunity to the devil.

Here's what he's basically saying, and the NIV says it like this, “and don't give the devil a foothold,” because if you give the devil a foothold, he'll turn it into a stronghold. He only needs a little crack in the door to your house, and unresolved anger will be that little crack. Then, he'll get his foot in and climb in.

Like I said earlier, two may go to bed, but you'll wake up with the devil in the middle of your bed. He will be happy to be there. Anger, sinful anger, opens the door and gives opportunity to the evil one. Notice in verse 29 that he warns us about corrupting talk.

I think this is very much connected to verse 27. When you let the devil in, when you let his lying, accusatory way of speaking in, it leads to filthy corrupting talk coming out of your mouth. Jesus warns that what comes out of your mouth originates in the heart. Here's what I've noticed about uncontrolled anger. People who vent their anger often say things they wish they had never said.

They often speak to loved ones that they say they love and they call them filthy names. They say horrible things. Soon, they'll cool down. They got hot, but they'll cool down and they'll come back and say, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that.’ Well, it can't be “unsaid” now; it can't be “unheard.” Do corrupting words come out of your mouth when you get angry?

Corrupting talk? So many times I've been trying to help a couple having marital problems and often it's either him or her that'll say, “I can't ‘unhear’ what he called me, the names he has called me.” You'll see shame come over the other person's face. But then they'll immediately say, “I can't help it.

My father was like this and my father's father. We're all angry. I've always seen that how you deal with things is with anger.” But, we're called to a better life. We're called to a life in Christ, where we can have self control and we can get a new heart so that those kinds of words don't come out of our mouths.

Paul doesn't leave us there with a “don't.” He doesn't just leave us here with “don't let these kinds of corrupting words…” because that kind of sinful anger often results in corrupting talk coming out of your mouth. But he says, in verse 29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Oh, the Holy Spirit can put in new words, so even when I'm expressing anger, if it's right, anger rightly expressed, I can edify the other person. “Building up” there, literally in the Greek, has the idea of “building a house.”

So, when anger is rightly expressed with the goal of oneness and unity. The goal of helping the other person and yourself get right with each other. You're building up your house instead of tearing it down. You're building up God's house instead of tearing it down. Anger can be a good thing when it has a good goal and has a good God empowering you. This is what he says.

Then, he goes on to say this. He says, “...fits the occasion…” Now, you've got the Holy Spirit telling you how to say it, so it fits the occasion, the right timing. It's not when it's the right time for you, but it's when it's the right time for them.

Then, he goes on. Here's another “purpose clause” “...that it may give grace to those who hear.” Grace is “unmerited favor.” My goal is not to harm the other person. If anger has moved me, it's not to make them hurt too. They've hurt me, I'm going to hurt them back.

That's sinful anger. No, my goal is that there would be favor again, that I could forgive and that you could forgive me and we receive grace and forgiveness. That's my goal. My goal in expressing right anger is that grace would take place and that forgiveness would take place. That's the goal that Paul is talking about here

, instead of letting the evil one control our tongue. We read this in Proverbs 14:29 (NLT) “Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.” We can have the mind of Christ.

In First Corinthians, chapter two, it says that we have the mind of Christ. As believers, we can have great understanding about how to control our anger. But those with a hasty temper will make mistakes. They'll make relationship mistakes everywhere. They'll leave a trail of broken relationships because of uncontrolled anger, which does harm to themselves and others.

You know, we don't have to go far in the Bible to see this illustrated. In just a few chapters; in Genesis, chapter 4. Just one generation into humanity's origin. Adam and Eve had two little boys, Cain and Abel. We know the story.

We learned these stories in Sunday school. Cain and Abel brought sacrifices to the Lord. They knew what to bring because they had mom and dad to explain. When Adam and Eve sinned, the Father took animals, slew them and made skin clothing in order to cover their nakedness, to cover their shame and their sin. Blood had to be shed from the get go.

That was the pattern. That blood had to be shed for the forgiveness of sin in order to cover our sins. So Adam and Eve surely told their sons about this. Cain was a farmer and Abel was a shepherd.

Cain probably was the firstborn. I'm just trying to read into the story; I am trying to understand it. He would have probably had to exchange some of his crops with Abel in order to get a lamb. But, he's the big brother.

He's not going to be trying to make deals with Abel. Whatever their motives were, we don't know. The scripture doesn't say, but we know this, that they both brought offerings.

Cain brought vegetables. Abel brought a lamb and the shedding of blood. God told them, ‘Yours is acceptable Abel, but Cain, you know yours is not.’ Cain got angry. He got angry.

He probably got jealous because Abel’s offering was approved. I don't know what happened, but here's how God goes to Cain. In Genesis 4:6-7 (ESV) 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?

7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, and you must rule over it.”.

Its desire is for you and you must rule over it. It wants you. It's crouching like a lion, like the devil crouching at your door, this anger, this resentment, because see, he didn't fly mad when he got unapproved. It wasn't manslaughter where he just got mad in the rage and killed Abel without thinking.

No, he's off to himself now and God's talking to him. God, in His grace and His mercy is warning him, ‘You need to make this right. If you do right, will you not be approved? Just do right.

But if you don't, sin is crouching at your door. It wants to get a foothold in your house.’ What does Cain do? He goes off and talks to his brother. He says, ‘Hey, let's walk out in this field’

and he commits premeditated murder, because that anger turns to bitterness, which turns to resentment and then turns to violence.

Anger is dangerous and it gives a foothold to Satan. It'll destroy your relationships. It's what we see on the news every day. It started at the very beginning, just one generation in. Brother slew brother. My friends, we must acknowledge the danger of sinful, unrepentant anger and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us. If unrepentant anger invites the enemy, then repentance invites the spirit.

Oh, if Cain would have just said, ‘Lord, you're right.

Forgive me. I'll bring an offering as you've required.’ I think Abel and Cain would have grown up to be best friends. We wouldn't even have this story. But what we found is that mankind from the very beginning had sin in his heart. We've got sin in our hearts

and without the saving grace of Jesus to save us and give us new hearts, we have the kind of anger that kills.

Sometimes it's with words; we kill with words. Sometimes it's more violent and we see it on the news. What if we begin to pray like this? ‘Lord, examine my heart. Am I letting the evil one use my words to do harm to others?’

Ask yourself, will this give grace or give the enemy ammunition? What I'm about to say to this person, will this give grace to them or will it give the enemy ammunition so that the enemy will now follow them around repeating my words? Especially if I text it to them, then they can just read it over and over and over and over and over again; they will copy it to all their friends.

Pray like this, ‘Lord, don't let my angry emotions give Satan a foothold. Lord Jesus, by Your spirit, give me a new heart as it regards anger. Break the chains of my forebearers. My mother or my father was an angry person. Help me to break those chains so that I handle anger appropriately, rightly, under control.’

Anger is a God given emotion, but it's a dangerous one. Like fire, it can harm or destroy. As members of Christ's body, we are called to steward anger, not suppress it or unleash it, but to surrender it. We are to say, ‘Christ Jesus, You knew when and how to get angry.’ We read in the Gospels that Jesus got angry.

He always turned the other cheek, it seemed like, when they were offending Him. But if they spoke against the Father or the Spirit or to one of His flock, you would see His anger rightly expressed.

I never remember a place where it was to protect Himself. It was always to protect others. Can we be like Jesus? Absolutely.
Quoting David Powlison again, from his book, “Good Anger,”

“Anger done right is a great good… it says, ‘That’s wrong,’ and energizes us to address real problems.” We can let Christ teach us to do anger right, so that we can be good and angry. We can do it. As Paul speaks here, as we're closing, I want you to think and I want the Holy Spirit to examine us.

Is there someone you need to forgive that you've yet to forgive? Or, is there someone you've offended that you need to seek forgiveness? Is there someone you've wounded with your anger that you need to have a talk with?

Is there someone you've been silently resenting and you've allowed it to build up? Ask Jesus, by his Holy Spirit, to make you right today with Him and with one another. Let's pray.

”Lord, we thank You for Your word.

We pray, Lord, first of all, for that person that came in this morning, far from God.” You came in this morning on a thin thread. You barely got here. But you know you need help. Maybe it's anger.

It could be anger towards God or anger towards someone else. Or, maybe you're just hurt; something brought you here, but you need a Savior. Would you pray with me right now, right where you're at, right where you're listening, right now. Whether you're seated here, watching from home or watching next door.

”Dear Lord Jesus, I'm a sinner.

I've made so many mistakes in my life. I've sinned against You and I've sinned against my fellow man. I need forgiveness. Lord, I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me, that He paid for my sins on the cross by His blood. I believe that You raised Him from the grave three days later.

I believe that. Right now, at this very moment, I invite Him to come into my life. Lord Jesus, come into my life. Forgive me of my sins.

Make me a child of God. I surrender my life to You. I want to follow You all the days of my life.” If you're praying that prayer of faith, believing, He'll save you. Others are here and you're a Christ follower. You know the Lord.

But anger has been a problem. It's in your house, it's in relationships at work. Holy Spirit, right now, just examine our hearts. We surrender resentment. We surrender unforgiveness.

Lord, help us to know when it's right anger and when it's the right time to address it. Lord, help us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”