{"id":6947,"date":"2018-05-20T11:40:10","date_gmt":"2018-05-20T15:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/?post_type=message&#038;p=6947"},"modified":"2018-05-23T11:43:25","modified_gmt":"2018-05-23T15:43:25","slug":"a-psalm-for-the-angry","status":"publish","type":"message","link":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/message\/a-psalm-for-the-angry","title":{"rendered":"A Psalm for the Angry"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>Below is an automated transcription of this message. Click the blue link to start the video at that point.<\/h3>\n<p> <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1.210\">All <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> right, good morning church good to see all of you here this morning we&#8217;re continuing this series  we&#8217;ve entitled psalms for the soul and the big idea is that we&#8217;re going to take on topics that christians often avoid talking about the reason we don&#8217;t talk about them  is because they&#8217;re they&#8217;re not seen they&#8217;re not readily seen they&#8217;re not part of the you know, the physical we&#8217;ll talk about prayer requests and so forth if we need to go have surgery or we have something wrong  in our bodies but but if we are  struggling with anxiety, if we&#8217;re struggling with depression, if we&#8217;re struggling with fear, the kind of topics that we hesitate to talk about, they&#8217;re on the inside and often we get flip answers from christians when we do bring it up, bring it up and they say, well, don&#8217;t be afraid well stop worrying we offer just <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"64.280\">like <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> easy fixes, but as we go to the book of psalms this morning, we&#8217;re going to encounter what i really believe is god&#8217;s medicine for the soul that these psalms there&#8217;s one hundred fifty of them and that each of them comes to us offering a unique uh help to a unique situation and so regardless of your emotional frame of mind, uh you can find  a psalm  that&#8217;ll match where you&#8217;re at today and you can find healing in medicine for your situation today and so that&#8217;s what we&#8217;re convinced of <\/p>\n<p>now i want to give you a few hints about what we&#8217;re talking about today i know that you see it in your sermon that you see the title but from chip ingraham&#8217;s book overcoming emotions that destroy here are some hints about this topic it has the power to transform a tender hearted mother into a harsh critic who destroys the dignity of her child. It has the power to turn passionate lovers into cold, calculated critical marriage partners who do only the bare minimum only what&#8217;s absolutely necessary to coexist in the same house. It can <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"136.820\">turn <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> good friends into annoying antagonizers. It has the power to turn a festive family gathering into a gut twisting, name calling side, taking no holds barred family feud that rarely, if ever, gets resolved. It has the power to turn caring, concerned parents into neck bulging, vein popping, screaming adults who say the same thing over and over and over again into the blank faces of their children it  has the power to turn a calm, quiet, conscientious longtime employee  into an automatic weapon carrying maniac who goes floor to floor in an  office building spraying bullets everywhere killing and maiming innocent people simply because he was let go from his job or a student who killed ten people ten children in texas this past week <\/p>\n<p>this power what is this emotional power that we&#8217;re talking about? We&#8217;re talking about human anger that&#8217;s our topic this morning from the book of psalms psalm number four chip ingram says in this book if you let anger get the best of you it will reveal the worst of you <\/p>\n<p>king solomon wrote in the <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"212.150\">book <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> of proverbs an angry person starts fights a hot tempered person commits all kinds of sin there&#8217;s just something about human anger that just seems to take the the resistance off of our sinfulness we sin  all the more now it&#8217;s anger sin is anger sin well let me ask another question does  god get angry yeah god gets angry does god sin no so all anger is not sin the problem is that we&#8217;re fallen human beings and so everything that we every emotion we have everything that we do it has a bent to it it&#8217;s been infected by sin and so usually our anger i would say ninety five percent of the time is sinful anger because we&#8217;re selfish but there is the possibility of righteous indignation righteous anger <\/p>\n<p>anger is an emotion it&#8217;s it&#8217;s neutral it depends on how you manage it how you handle it in fact the the emotion of anger causes the fight or flight reflects   in her physiology so that adrenaline rushes in and and and we either want a fight or  run away and so that&#8217;s an important emotion to have it&#8217;s just we don&#8217;t handle it well <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"290.557\">humans <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> were sinful therefore our anger is often sinful <\/p>\n<p>the book of james it says now this my beloved brothers let every person be quick to hear slow to speak slow to anger why for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of god human anger is fallen anger now why do we show anger just think about it for a second what causes us to show anger one reason we show anger is our rights have been violated we feel like somebody did us wrong you violated my rights so you crossed the line i&#8217;m angry our expectations haven&#8217;t been met does that sound familiar? the other person might not even know what your expectations were but you have them and they didn&#8217;t meet them and you&#8217;re angry or we&#8217;ve been hurt so we&#8217;ve been hurt so we act out in anger this is more true i think of of men perhaps than  it is women women might be quicker to admit that they&#8217;re hurt men rarely will admit they&#8217;re hurt if they&#8217;re hurt they get angry <\/p>\n<p>when you get angry what geographic place do you go do you go to iceland you get cold as <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"366.387\">a <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> ice  well, somebody popped all four pictures up, and blew my steam here so let me just do it, okay? I didn&#8217;t know all four pictures were going to pop up do you go to iceland and just get cold?   Iceland  i feel like singing a song right? You\u2019re as  cold as ice  Is there anyone you go down memory lane and just remind that the person that&#8217;s offended you of everything they&#8217;ve ever done wrong in their whole life? Right? Perhaps you&#8217;re like mount st helens and you explode that&#8217;s that&#8217;s how that&#8217;s where you go when you get angry, you just spew on everybody or do you go to the sahara desert and just simmer and pout? You know, we all tend to go to sinful geographic places when we&#8217;re angry <\/p>\n<p>In ingraham&#8217;s book he divides them not into geographic places  but  into three categories that he calls spewers, stuffers and leakers are you a spewer  in other words, kind of like mountain st helens do you just like if you get angry you say to yourself <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"432.442\">, <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> i need to get this out right now and i don&#8217;t care who it hurts i&#8217;m going to get it out and this person can often be loud and violent one who spews on everybody or are you a stuffer you grew up in perhaps a christian family where people told you anger is not good don&#8217;t show anger and nobody in the family would confront problems. They tiptoed around and would not confront anger, so they stuffed it, stuffed it, stuffed it until layer upon layer of unresolved anger built up and then when it explodes, it&#8217;s way uglier really than a spewer a stuffer is that your pattern or are you a leaker  a leaker  is  related to spewers  but what a leaker does is passive aggressive like they don&#8217;t want to show anger because they&#8217;re good christians so they just  nit pick all day long what what&#8217;s really going on is they&#8217;re really angry at you about something, but instead of admitting it, they&#8217;re sarcastic and they just kind of nit pick and tell you the little <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"503.560\">things <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> all day long, <\/p>\n<p>which one are you? Do you get mad when someone cuts you off while driving? When you have to wait too long in a checkout line? Do you just about blow your top? What about when your children aren&#8217;t obeying immediately? What if you&#8217;re at a restaurant and the waitress is too slow bringing  your food or brings the wrong food or it&#8217;s cooked medium well when you ordered medium or what if your spouse forgot to call when they were late getting home? What if someone criticizes you? Does that make you angry? You can tell the size of a man by the size of what it takes to make him mad what makes you angry <\/p>\n<p>so we go to the doctor when our bodies are sick where do we go when we&#8217;re soul sick where do we go when we have pent up anger or uncontrolled anger where do we go well let&#8217;s go to the psalms today let&#8217;s go to the psalmist and let god apply this psalm  let the lord jesus apply this medicine to those that struggle with anger i <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"575.900\">think <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> that&#8217;s probably everybody in the room<\/p>\n<p>in psalm  four king david had received help from the lord his anger towards those who had betrayed him was probably righteous anger but he sought from the lord to be relieved and then he sought to give advice to those who had offended him about how they could resolve their anger isn\u2019t that amazing and I believe as we look at this psalm  for we can receive help from the lord on how to rightly handle our anger how can we do this well as we look at the text today i think we&#8217;ll see four ways to receive god&#8217;s help up for handling anger so let&#8217;s look at the psalm and just to set it up i would point out to you i don&#8217;t know if you&#8217;re carrying your bibles we have the notes in your bulletin if you if you don&#8217;t they&#8217;ll be on the screen as well<\/p>\n<p>psalms three and four are kind of companion songs like book ends, psalm  three is  often called by the jewish reader a morning prayer, a kind of prayer that you would pray in the morning <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"640.958\">. <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> Whereas psalm  four was called an evening prayer, something that she would pray before you laid your head on your pillow at night. And they&#8217;re considered to be connected psalm  three  and  psalm four morning and evening, and and also because of the linguistic evidence between the two, it looks as if they were written during the same time period, and david&#8217;s in king david&#8217;s life. <\/p>\n<p>So if we look at the inscription above psalm three, we see that it&#8217;s a psalm  of david, when he fled from absalom  his son, and so then we might conclude that psalm four is  connected to that. And so as we look and ask the question, what&#8217;s the context, what what&#8217;s going on when david&#8217;s writing this psalm  it seems that he is hiding and running from his own son, absalom, who has sought to rebel against his father, and conspired to have his father murdered, that he might take the throne from him now does that sound like an offense that would hurt your feelings and make you angry? Well that&#8217;s where david&#8217;s at he <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"708.978\">has <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> fled from his city jerusalem and he&#8217;s hiding out in the wilderness with his people and he&#8217;s writing  a morning psalm and an evening psalm this particular psalm  he even gave instructions i guess he was thinking the lord you know the lord&#8217;s going to help me get back and when we get back i wrote this one all by myself out here with my lute  which would be like your modern day guitar, right and so he gives instructions to the choirmaster with stringed instruments a psalm of david he says that i think this would sound good with the guitar don\u2019t you think stephen <\/p>\n<p>so let me read it now through the lens of david who is hurt and has dealt with anger and he&#8217;s dealing with the anger of those who have rebelled against him that&#8217;s the context answer me when i call o god of my righteousness you have given me relief when i was in distress be gracious to me and hear my prayer so he&#8217;s talking to god but then he even though the men that have offended him aren&#8217;t there with him he begins in the prayer <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"780.635\">to <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> direct his thoughts towards them. <\/p>\n<p>And then he says in verse two oh men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame? How long will you love vain words and seek after lies selah and by the way that word selah that you keep encountering in the psalms no one knows what that means that&#8217;s why we left it in the hebrew selah  no one knows it&#8217;s probably a musical notation kind of like sing louder or something like that play louder or stand up or raise your hand when you do it it&#8217;s probably something like that no one knows for sure everybody has their own opinion i like the idea that you sing louder when you get to that one because look where he goes in verse  three but know that the lord i would sing  louder right there it has set apart the godly for himself the lord hears when i called him be angry and do not sin ponder in your own hearts on your beds and be silent selah  offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the lord there are many who say who will show <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"851.465\">us <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> some good lift up the light of your face upon us oh lord you&#8217;ve put more joy in my heart that  they have when their grain and wine abound in peace i will both lie down and sleep for you alone oh lord make me dwell in safety this is god&#8217;s word amen <\/p>\n<p>four ways that we can learn with god&#8217;s help to handle anger here&#8217;s the first see others from god&#8217;s perspective see others from god&#8217;s perspective notice how he started off this psalm with prayers to god calling out to god and then in verse eight he closes with the declaration of what god has done for him he says answer me when i call and then he says you have given me relief when i was in distress what kind of distress was he in? He had a mixture an amalgam of emotions as he ran away from his own son&#8217;s rebellion he had already been told years and years ago by the prophet nathan because of his sin with bathsheba that stuff like this was gonna happen that he would not see peace in his long in his grey years in his latter <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"926.466\">days <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> that something like this was gonna happen and now it has befallen him be sure that your sin will find you out this he&#8217;s got that mixture going on of like i kind of had this coming then the other thing is that mixed emotion he has towards his son his own son like this son was so handsome and persuasive and so he just couldn&#8217;t believe it <\/p>\n<p>this particular son absalom it says that his hair weighed like this huge amount it was so gorgeous he was so handsome and he&#8217;d bought a chariot with a bunch of horses and he would you know it&#8217;s kind of like he had a corvette that he drove around town you know he&#8217;s like that king&#8217;s kid and he would wait at the gate every day and put his arm around people and say you know someday my dad&#8217;s going to die i&#8217;ll be king then and i&#8217;ll take care of you tell me your problems don&#8217;t go troubling the king and little by little he had turned the people against his father and brought them to his side he was good looking <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"986.406\">he <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> spoke lies and the girls loved him they wanted they wanted them to be king he had that great looking chariot  <\/p>\n<p>here&#8217;s david he&#8217;s got this whole mixture lord i&#8217;m in distress and you know  there had to be anger and hurt  too because hurt  turns to anger and so he&#8217;s in distress and it says in a past tense way you have given me relief when i was in distress and so as he&#8217;s praying here i get the sense that god has already given him the ability to forgive those who have offended him before he even talks to them before even gets towards it he&#8217;s already decided i&#8217;m going to give  my anger to god god&#8217;s already given him relief for it so now he&#8217;s beginning to think about how he&#8217;s going to address it <\/p>\n<p>he says be gracious to me and hear my prayer and then he switches to addressing the men what men the men that had conspired with absalom i believe that phrase oh men literally would be oh great men men of noble seeding noble family lines of leaders the leaders who conspired with absalom  that&#8217;s who he&#8217;s <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1063.676\">talking <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> to you&#8217;ve turned my honor into shame i had to run out of my own kingdom at a time when david should have been experiencing the greatest piece of his entire life he had already defeated every enemy external enemy and then an internal enemy from his own house rises up against him  it should have been a season of blessing and prosperity in then this he gives men how long will you love vain words in other words how long you go let absalom  puff you up how long are you going to seek after his lies you&#8217;ve been you&#8217;ve been misled and now you&#8217;ve joined with him and you&#8217;ve been lying against me<\/p>\n<p>Doesn\u2019t  that tick you off when somebody tells lies on you i mean like all of us are sinners and if they picked the right one they get it right but then people picked the wrong one and lied and that just ticks us off right like i did this but i didn&#8217;t do that and so david saying you guys have been lying on me and believing lies but here&#8217;s something i want you to remember now this gets to my point remember i <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1132.992\">said <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> see others from god&#8217;s perspective here&#8217;s what david&#8217;s challenging to do but no circle the word no in your text that could be translated to see or perceive to understand i&#8217;m going to choose the word see because it helps me understand what he&#8217;s saying here you see that the lord has set me apart recognize that god through the prophet samuel anointed me to be king  you&#8217;re going against god so when you see me see that god chose me and then he says and know this the lord hears when he answers my prayers. Okay, now let&#8217;s, bring that across the bible bridge. <\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ve been talking about david what he was going through. How do we apply this? Okay, look around you. These people have been blood bought by jesus. They&#8217;ve been anointed and chosen and the lord answers their prayers do you see them? Do you see the people that you get angry at and even those who aren&#8217;t in that situation? Oh god loves them. He sent jesus to die for the sinner so even they are immortals in the sense that god <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1214.032\">made <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> them for eternity and he loves them. Be careful. Every person you&#8217;re angry towards has value in god&#8217;s eyes be aware that god answers their prayers. I mean, watch out who you&#8217;re angry at because being angry at them in an inappropriate way and i&#8217;m talking about sinful anger based on lies and and, uh based on vanity based on shame as we&#8217;ve looked through this that&#8217;s human anger that&#8217;s sinful anger <\/p>\n<p>In first samuel we see that god informed the prophet samuel in fact when he went to jessie&#8217;s house to pick which son was supposed to be the new king and david was the runt of the litter god warned samuel it  says the lord does not see as  man sees for man looks at the outward appearance but the lord looks of the heart we need to start trying to see people the way the lord sees them if you&#8217;ll see them the way the lord sees them and recognize  they&#8217;re not the enemy the enemy is  the enemy your spouse is not the enemy your child is not the enemy your mom is not the enemy your dad is not <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1296.692\">the <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> enemy  your neighbor your co worker your boss is not the enemy the enemy is the enemy<\/p>\n<p>in the book of luke speaking of enemies jesus said love your enemies do good to those who hate you bless those who curse you pray for those who abuse you to one who strikes you on the cheek offer the other also and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either give to everyone who begs from you and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back and as you wish that others would do to you do so to them there&#8217;s the golden rule right there do unto others as you would have others do unto you <\/p>\n<p>i&#8217;m going to tell you a terrible story some of you have heard me tell it before here  and so don\u2019t whisper  the conclusion to the people around you i was in the back yard mowing my wife was grocery shopping the kids were small steven was probably like i don&#8217;t know ten years old something like that he and his brother jonathan were playing in the garage  my daughter, Erin,  had gone running back into <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1362.767\">the <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> house and i hadn&#8217;t noticed it but here&#8217;s instruction i had given all three kids because i was watching the kids and mowing the grass which is what i was doing they were old enough to kind of manage themselves fenced in backyard things were going well but here&#8217;s what I told them  do not answer the phone this was back in the day when there was no internet stuff like that we had an answering machine kids young people it had a little cassette tape a little miniature cassette tape ask your parents about it when you get home i said let the answer machine get  it because i&#8217;m mowing and i&#8217;ll answer my calls when i get back in the house so  don&#8217;t answer the phone and so erin was in the house and she forgot she&#8217;s like five years old she answers the phone she comes running out pecks me on the shoulder daddy daddy someone&#8217;s calling for you and it sounds like an emergency and i said i told you not to answer the phone and i go stop and how&#8217;s now who knows i probably won\u2019t get to <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1419.547\">finish <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> no when i have to go and do some preacher thing or something i don&#8217;t want to be a preacher right now i want to mow the grass and i&#8217;m just fussing  my head off the door open i go in and i go to press the answer machine and they&#8217;d already hung up by the way i said hello hello they don&#8217;t answer i said who was it who was it and she goes daddy i don&#8217;t know who it was and  i press the answer machine and i&#8217;m like you didn&#8217;t even let they didn&#8217;t get it they didn&#8217;t even get anything on the answer machine you answer the phone now don&#8217;t know it was what if it was an emergency i&#8217;m just chewing her out and she&#8217;s looking at me and so then i guess i had hit the button funny or something and all of a sudden it&#8217;s talking and it&#8217;s me  talking and it had recorded my yelling at her i had hit the button i don&#8217;t know how it happened they&#8217;re not supposed to do that i think god made that answering  machine do that so i i guess i was just yelling at her and hitting buttons and <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1471.528\">it&#8217;s <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> it&#8217;s it&#8217;s recording me yelling at her   and her  little voice too and so we&#8217;re both standing there and i&#8217;m listening to it, and i looked at her and i got down on my knees and said honey, i&#8217;m sorry daddy  didn&#8217;t realize what he sounded like. I forgot who she was i forgot that she was my daughter. I forgot that god gave her to me but  for a little bit she was my enemy because i was not getting my way how do others see you when you&#8217;re angry do you forget who they are? <\/p>\n<p>Number two, if you can handle it, consider the anger in your heart with god&#8217;s guidance consider the anger in your heart with god&#8217;s guidance verse  four now you&#8217;ll recognize this verse because paul quotes it in the book of ephesians be angry and do not sin. Ponder in your own hearts on your beds and be silent be angry but this is not a commandment to be angry. The bible is not saying just be angry that&#8217;s not that&#8217;s, not <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1557.518\">what <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> the sense of it is just not like i knew that. Ok, i will be angry, the bible said to be angry that&#8217;s not that&#8217;s, not the kind that&#8217;s, not what it really means. The idea is more like you&#8217;re going to be angry. in other words, when you&#8217;re angry or in the season when you are angry that&#8217;s really what it means so in the time when you&#8217;re angry don&#8217;t sin because you&#8217;re going to get angry some of your angry at me right now for bringing up anger okay you&#8217;re going to get angry but when you do don&#8217;t use it as an excuse for sin so literally in the hebrew right here it has the idea of trembling with anger it&#8217;s so it&#8217;s a certain kind of anger when you get like that be careful not to sin don&#8217;t use your anger as an excuse for sinning instead ponder \u201chmmmmmmmm\u201d   it&#8217;s helpful if you have a little hair right here saying it to the guys ponder consider give careful thought to your anger there&#8217;s an important question to <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1634.480\">be <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> asked at this point is my anger appropriate or is it inappropriate? Is my anger righteous indignation in other words, do i have a right to this anger or is it based on my sinful flesh <\/p>\n<p>go back to that story with my daughter if i would have just obeyed  the book of james that says be quick to listen slow to speak slow to become angry then i could have i could have said, honey, i told you not the answer the phone and i would have heard her say daddy i forgot but they&#8217;re on the phone right now then i could have moved on but no if i could have thought to myself do i have a right to this anger? But anger got ahead of me it  got ahead of me i didn&#8217;t ask myself that question do i have a right to this? Is it appropriate  he&#8217;s saying he&#8217;s giving  advice in verse four  if you look back david&#8217;s he&#8217;s teaching the people who have rebelled against him how to handle anger and in a way david is representing christ to us here because christ is the son <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1720.687\">of <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> david the son of god,<\/p>\n<p>picture that jesus is saying to you right now the next time you get angry because you&#8217;re going to get angry the next time you get angry think, ponder and ask yourself the question do i really have a right to this anger ? Is it righteous or is it sinful anger notice that says ponder in your own hearts on your beds scream into your pillow instead of your pal scream into your pillow what one person said get counsel from your pillow the idea is not to do the opposite of what paul says in ephesians because he says in your anger  do not sin and do not let the sun go down on your anger and it sounds like these two are contrary but but there they&#8217;re talking about two different things because paul and ephesians is telling you how to rightly handle anger when it&#8217;s appropriate anger. But here david is more leaning into the fact that these guys or  their struggle was sinful anger and when you&#8217;re struggling  with sinful anger, the best thing to do is to <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1795.777\">zip <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> it or if you have to get it out because they think, you know, the thing about anger is it affects your body and you get also like,  scream into your pillow it&#8217;s kind like what david said, if you got if you got to get it out, scream into your pillow, but but zip it, be silent, consider the sources of anger<\/p>\n<p>in dr minearth and myers book happiness is a choice, and i quoted from this last week talks about how anger is often pent up anger is often that which results in depression you&#8217;ve stored it up and it has  caused depression, and so we have to deal with the anger in order to deal with the depression and in this book, give these three main sources of inappropriate anger would you like to hear them? <\/p>\n<p>Three main sources of inappropriate anger, number one anger that results when one&#8217;s selfish demands are not being met? I wanted my way number two anger that results <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1869.437\">when <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> one&#8217;s perfectionistic demands are not being satisfied that&#8217;s slightly different. I don&#8217;t know how many perfectionists we have in the house that you want everything to be perfect, but you pretty much stay perpetually angry. How do i know that i&#8217;m a perfectionist  I&#8217;m a struggler now i&#8217;m growing i&#8217;ve been a christian for a while and the lord&#8217;s helping me, but i have to have to admit it as rick warren  says, admitting your feeling is  the beginning of healing yet admit i struggle with sinful anger that usually comes out of perfectionistic expectations. I don&#8217;t even need you to be in the room, i can get angry enough at myself and have a big argument with myself like, what did you do that for? You knew better to do that if you walk in on that, my wife walks in on that sometimes together you&#8217;re talking to me, i go no, no talking kind of embarrassing that i was having an argument with myself. <\/p>\n<p>Number three anger that results from suspiciousness now that one needs maybe a little bit more explanation. There are some <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"1941.427\">of <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> us who have paranoid paranoia traits not not perfectionistic, but you&#8217;re paranoid and  this person is continually offended because they always believe that your motive for saying whatever you said was intended to hurt them you meant to hurt them and so they they always give you uh like they can read your mind they got hurt sometime when they were young that wound is still there and so every time like you like don&#8217;t get around me very long because i will i will hurt you probably because i like to pick on people i like the say silly things like that, but once i figure out that there&#8217;s a certain personality type that&#8217;s, paranoid and suspicious i don&#8217;t know what to do i feel like i&#8217;m afraid to say anything like i&#8217;m walking on eggshells because i&#8217;m like this i like to kid around i&#8217;m kind of comic you&#8217;ll figure that out right? And so i will hurt that person and not mean to and they will think i did it on purpose when i was just playing but uh you know somebody like this or maybe it is you  just continually offended <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2014.786\">because <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> they&#8217;re suspicious they get teased a little bit and they think their friend was trying to cut him down. <\/p>\n<p>If your anger is sinful, then if it falls into one of these three categories zip it and give it to god but if it&#8217;s not sinful, if you look at it and you go no, that person, that person did that to me and if i don&#8217;t deal with this, i&#8217;m not going to be able to forget it forget going to bed i&#8217;m not gonna be able to sleep for the rest of my life i need to get this out but but now you still need to be quiet for a minute and then evaluate how am i going to do it?  Does that make sense don&#8217;t need to spew  <\/p>\n<p>from the book of ephesians and to be clear, my purpose is to preach psalm four and so i&#8217;m going to preach it but i&#8217;m going to offer you this from ephesians because this is kind of like the companion piece like psalm four kind of like how to handle sinful anger and ephesians four is kind of like how <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2079.106\">the <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> handle anger when it&#8217;s got to be handled when it&#8217;s probably righteous anger or at least it has some real offense there needs be handled  so i&#8217;m not gonna preach ephesians just run through it real quick some of you that wanted me to preach it i can&#8217;t reach it right now preach it some other time be angry do not sin  where did  paul get that he&#8217;s quoting david chapter four of psalm  but now he&#8217;s going to take it the different direction be angry and do not sin and do not let the sun go down on your anger so what he&#8217;s talking about now if it&#8217;s a really offense it&#8217;s not one that you manufactured in your selfish mind it&#8217;s really something then you need to watch out because there is  a time clock ticking and you need the handle it quickly and give no opportunity to the devil because the longer you wait in handling it the more you&#8217;ve given the devil an opportunity for a foothold and if he&#8217;s like an old door to door vacuum salesman if you <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2135.208\">open <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> the door a crack he will throw dirt in your house and then he sticks his foot in the door and then you gotta let him if you give him a foothold he gets a stronghold so you don&#8217;t want him in and  unresolved anger that&#8217;s appropriate unresolved anger gives the devil a foothold in your relationship you don&#8217;t want that like two of you go to bed mad husband and wife go to bed mad and you wake up you two of you was in the bed you wake up the next morning there&#8217;s third partner in the bodies laying in the middle he is  called the devil and your anger turns to bitterness let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth so you can&#8217;t cuss each other out sorry no more cussing when you were dealing with your anger no more tearing the other person down but<br \/>\nonly such as is good for building up the other person so they hurt you but now you gotta build them  up that&#8217;s what it says that it may give grace oh man you got to give him grace <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2191.928\">in <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> other words what that means you got to think the best of him like you can&#8217;t be imagining evil motivations you can&#8217;t be saying i know what you were thinking because no you didn&#8217;t you need to say i don&#8217;t know if you meant to do this but here&#8217;s here&#8217;s how i felt i felt hurt felt frustrated and it caused me to get angry you give them grace and i don&#8217;t know if you meant to do it <\/p>\n<p>verse thirty and do not grieve the holy spirit because by the way when you&#8217;re angry towards one another it grieves the holy spirit like somebody has died so he&#8217;s going through this let all bitterness wrath anger, clamor slander be put away along with malice which is hatred be kind to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another  so here&#8217;s paul telling you how to rightly  handle anger when it needs to be handled ok <\/p>\n<p>number three we go to number three this is a four pointer what was i thinking repent of sinful anger and obey god&#8217;s will repent of sinful anger and obey god&#8217;s will i&#8217;m getting this from verse five because what he says it&#8217;s offer <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2261.928\">right <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> sacrifices i just want to touch on that just for a second he says be angry and do not sin in first of all, ponder and evaluate. Is it appropriate anger or inappropriate anger? And if it&#8217;s if it&#8217;s appropriate anger follow up, paul says in ephesians chapter for if it&#8217;s inappropriate now here&#8217;s, what we need to go, according to david it&#8217;s, inappropriate but simple anger you need to get right need to offer right sacrifices now. We don&#8217;t need do sacrifices anymore. Why is that? Because jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice. So what do we do? What we do? Well, look what? <\/p>\n<p>Look what paul says to the romans, he says. Therefore, i urge you, brothers and sisters in view of god&#8217;s mercy, in other words, in view of what god is known for us in jesus giving the ultimate sacrifice to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice. Ok, so that&#8217;s our sacrifice now today, as we offer ourselves as a living sacrifice, i&#8217;m glad, he said living offer yourselves as <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2319.818\">a <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> living sacrifice holy and pleasing to god, and so do not conform to the pattern of this world. In other words, don&#8217;t don&#8217;t manage anger, don&#8217;t handle anger the way the world does you know where you learned how to handle anger from probably from your mom and dad, and they were sinners too. Or maybe if you didn&#8217;t have a dad in the house you learned it from an uncle or a grandfather or maybe you learned it from your big brother or sister there was there was a family system that that&#8217;s where you learned how to handle angry and you learned one of those styles and and it&#8217;s and it&#8217;s hard to reflect on it. But what you need to do is stop conforming to that and instead the bible says be transformed the greek word underneath that is metamorphosis be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So now you think about how to  handle anger god&#8217;s way god gets anger angry but his anger&#8217;s under control and it&#8217;s it&#8217;s it&#8217;s monitored and mediated by his love so offer right sacrifices offering your mind <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2396.977\">to <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> the lord offer your thinking so he can transform the way you think about things and sometimes you need to say i don&#8217;t need to tell anybody about this anger because it was not i didn&#8217;t have a right to this anger so i don&#8217;t need to say anything to them because it&#8217;ll just hurt him and i don&#8217;t need to bring this up you know who i need to give this anger to god is i should have been angry in the first place i was just being sinful when i got angry and that&#8217;s friends we gotta admit that&#8217;s a majority of the time because our anger is triggered by selfishness our fallen nature getting right with your brother or sister in fact precedes worship <\/p>\n<p>i don&#8217;t know if you&#8217;re angry at anybody when you came to church today but you should have got it right before you came in look what jesus says you heard it said to those of old you shall not murder this is matthew chapter five and whoever murders will be liable to judgment but i say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2460.289\">liable <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> to judgment whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council whoever says you fool will be liable to the hell of fire so if you are offering a gift at the altar in there remember that your brother has something against you leave your gift there before the altar and go first be reconciled to your brother then come offer your gift you know why you can&#8217;t worship you know why there&#8217;s something between you and god because there&#8217;s been something between you and your brother get that right before you try to get right with god get that right offer right sacrifices <\/p>\n<p>unreconciled anger will affect your relationship not only with  that person but with god it will affect your worship will  you repent of your sinful anger will you offer your your thinking and say i don&#8217;t have a right to that anger so God I give it to you will you offer your mind to the lord offer your thoughts you say will  you transform my way of thinking<\/p>\n<p>here&#8217;s number four and trust your anger to god&#8217;s provision  we&#8217;re in the latter part of verse five now and trust your anger <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2530.359\">to <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> god&#8217;s provision he says and put your trust in the lord first  so ponder offer right sacrifices these are all  hebrew imperatives and then he says, put your trust in the lord visualize it like this because we&#8217;re still talking about simple anger now, right? We&#8217;re not talking about appropriate anger that&#8217;s not the purpose of this sermon really the purpose of this sermon is how to handle sinful anger and here&#8217;s what he&#8217;s saying just give it to the lord trust the lord with it and even if it is righteous anger here because david would you say that he had a right to his anger? They tried they wanted to kill him and take over the kingdom that sounds like reall appropriate righteous anger would be here. But here he&#8217;s saying i&#8217;m going to trust vengeance to the lord i&#8217;m going to give up the right to punish that person for hurting me  i&#8217;ve talked to people who are angry at their father and in that person will have them in a counseling time we&#8217;re one on one and they&#8217;re just opening up to me and they&#8217;ll say i <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2601.955\">just <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> and you&#8217;ll find out that everything else is coming out of the fact that they&#8217;re angry with their father and i&#8217;ll go here&#8217;s what you need to you need to meet with your father well how much supposed to do that? So we just don&#8217;t you know where they live he&#8217;s dead what? And you&#8217;re still angry  yes i&#8217;m still angry at him who&#8217;s getting hurt right now because he&#8217;s dead  who&#8217;s getting hurt him no you are just think about that for a second well i can&#8217;t forgive him why can&#8217;t you forgive him the person&#8217;s thinking if i forgive him i&#8217;m letting him off the hook and in my anger hanging on to it is my way of hurting him even though he&#8217;s just dead think about that that stinking thinking that&#8217;s thinking thinking in this person i said let&#8217;s do something let&#8217;s try something right here you trust me? let&#8217;s pull up the center chair right here. Okay, an empty chair that\u2019s your dad? What i want you pretend like that your dad it&#8217;s just just right now spiritually just just want you to look into that <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2680.875\">chair <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> as if your dad is here  and just say i forgive you and name what it was what he did to you i forgive you for this  man he started weeping start weeping and he said, i forgive you it  was a breakthrough for him it just turned his life around not because of me not because of the chair just because he forgave him in the power of the holy spirit he let go of it he trusted the lord with his anger he trusted that the lord would appropriately handle it <\/p>\n<p>he says in verse six there are many who say who will show us some good how can good  could come out of this man how can  good come out of this well it will make you more tender hearted towards others it&#8217;ll make you more dependent upon the lord instead of  depending on your own self control and always trying to control everything who will show us some good lift up the light of your face upon us a lord i need to see your face and then david concludes like this he says you&#8217;ve put more joy in my heart than they have who&#8217;s they it\u2019s those men who <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2755.323\">have <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> offended him they&#8217;re up there in jerusalem and what do they have? They have all of his grain and all his wine and he&#8217;s out in the wilderness with some stuff he threw it a backpack he\u2019s  eating crackers and cheese it\u2019s  kosher you put more joy in my heart than they have with their grain and and wine in abundance they have they have my stuff but i have you and therefore i have joy listen to david listen to  that man then he says, he concludes like this t he&#8217;s still out there in the wilderness, he hadn&#8217;t got his throne  back he says in peace, what&#8217;s the opposite of angry. If we say boy that&#8217;s an angry ocean, we&#8217;re talking about waves, but if we look at that peaceful ocean what are we talking about  he says in peace, peace is the opposite of anger in peace. I will both lie down and sleep. <\/p>\n<p>Lord, you&#8217;ve taken my anger  i&#8217;ve left my anger at the cross. I&#8217;ve forgiven those that have offended me. Oh lord, make me dwell <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2835.108\">in <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> safety, you&#8217;ll protect me now you&#8217;ll protect my heart, my way of thinking you&#8217;re the one who will take vengeance. If vengeance is needed and you will protect me, i don&#8217;t have to protect myself. I don&#8217;t have to use anger like a shield. You&#8217;re my shield, you&#8217;re my strong tower, this is what David says  <\/p>\n<p>in the psalm  thirty seven, psalm  thirty seven says, be still before the lord and wait patiently for him. Fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way over the man who carries out evil devices, refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself it only tends only to do evil <\/p>\n<p>in the book of romans, says repay no evil no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight  of all if possible so far as it depends on you live peaceably with all beloved never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of god for it is written vengeance is mine and i will repay says the lord to the contrary if your enemy is <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2898.038\">hungry <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> feed him if he&#8217;s thirsty give him something to drink for by so doing you&#8217;ll heap burning coals on his head in other words it will confuse him  maybe he will come to christ do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good learn to be un offendable l learn to find your identity in  jesus <\/p>\n<p>remember jesus asleep in the boat  that big storm came up and the disciples some of them professional fishermen had lived their whole life on the sea of galilee but this was this was a terrible storm, one worse than any they&#8217;ve ever seen and the sea was angry so angry they thought it was going to kill them  they finally screamed at jesus and woke him up and said  don&#8217;t you care that we&#8217;re about to die and he woke up and i don&#8217;t think he stood up i think he raised up from that pillow of fish nets that he had his head lying on  he raised up and looked around and said peace be still  i don\u2019t  think he shouted you know why? Because all of creation obeys him immediately except for humanity <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"2975.458\">but <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> if you give him your anger no matter whether it&#8217;s like a tempest like a storm it doesn&#8217;t matter how big it is if you give it to him he says peace be still over it if you&#8217;ll give it to him if you trust him whether it&#8217;s so will you repent of sinful anger will  you begin to see other people as god sees them  will  you examine your heart and ask the question do i have a right to this anger will  you repent of it and align your thinking with god&#8217;s will will you trust the lord and let him replace your anger with peace and joy and  safety <\/p>\n<p>let&#8217;s pray lord i pray for the angry today i think that probably includes all of us and i pray first of all for the person that might be here this morning that came in far from you maybe even you&#8217;re angry at god he&#8217;s not afraid of your anger why don\u2019t you just introduce yourself to him right now and say i need you would you come into my life jesus i believe that you died on the cross for my  sins  <span class=\"messageTimecode\" title=\"Play the video starting here\" data-timecode=\"3047.868\">a <i class=\"fa fa-volume-up\"><\/i><\/span> raise from the grave and live today would you come and live in me? Forgive me of my sins especially anger help me with that anger help me to follow you. Give me the joy of salvation. I want you to be my savior and lord, if you prayed  that prayer believing in your heart, the bible says, jesus will save you, others are here today and, you know, jesus christ as your lord and savior. But you have a bad, bad pattern, anger, sinful anger. Would you repent of it right now and say, lord, apply this psalm  to my heart right now, like a medicine replace my anger   with peace and joy. Show  me, how in  the power of the holy spirit to rightly handle anger, we pray that in Jesus&#8217; name. Amen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Anger is a powerful emotion, and if we let it control us, it can destroy relationships and cause harm to our souls. In Psalm 4, King David had received help from the Lord for his anger towards those who had betrayed him and he sought to advise them how they might rightly handle their anger as well. We can receive help from the Lord to rightly handle our anger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":6935,"template":"","tags":[2654],"series":[2652],"scripture-book":[1286],"scripture-chapter":[1337],"speaker":[2007],"class_list":["post-6947","message","type-message","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-anger","series-psalms-for-the-soul","scripture-book-psalms","scripture-chapter-1337","speaker-gary-combs"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message\/6947","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/message"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message\/6947\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6947"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=6947"},{"taxonomy":"scripture-book","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/scripture-book?post=6947"},{"taxonomy":"scripture-chapter","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/scripture-chapter?post=6947"},{"taxonomy":"speaker","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/speaker?post=6947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}