{"id":10721,"date":"2022-07-17T14:58:09","date_gmt":"2022-07-17T18:58:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/?post_type=message&p=10721"},"modified":"2022-08-29T08:43:35","modified_gmt":"2022-08-29T12:43:35","slug":"on-the-family","status":"publish","type":"message","link":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/message\/on-the-family","title":{"rendered":"On the Family"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Below is an automated transcript of this message<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Good <\/i><\/span> morning church; it is good to see all of you here this morning. We’re beginning a new series entitled, \u201cFamily Life Today.\u201d We’ll be looking at five lessons for the family from the book of Ephesians. Over the next few Sundays, and as we get started, I just want to give a welcome to those that might be watching online today and those that are watching next door in our Gathering Place. Of course, I welcome you here today, especially if you’re visiting for the first time because of KidzFest; your children were part of our KidzFest this week. We’re so glad to have you here with us.

\nWe had over 100 volunteers serving every night last week for our children; a big thanks to all of you. Our children’s leader, Pastor Jonathan Minter, who is our Pastor of Children and Administration, celebrated his 10 year anniversary yesterday. Let\u2019s all give him a hand! If you see Pastor Jonathan make sure that you let him know how much we appreciate him. He has served 10 years with us <\/i><\/span>!

\nAlso, I want to give you a little report about how it went with our children this past week. Certainly, they learned bible verses and they learned songs. You got to see some of that earlier in the service. Even more importantly, on Thursday night, they heard a clear presentation of the Gospel, the Good News about Jesus. We gave them an opportunity to respond. 46 of our Children responded, making decisions for Jesus. 19 of them indicated that they wanted to hear more. We gave them a handout and we read it to them. We explained it to them. They checked the box, \u2018I want someone to talk to me and explain more to me about what it means to be a believer.\u2019 27 children indicated that they had prayed to receive Jesus and gave Him their life and desired to follow Him. Isn’t that amazing? We’re very thankful for that! Yesterday, pastor Jonathan sent out emails to those 46 households to let them know that <\/i><\/span> their child made a decision. An attachment was sent to every household to help them have the conversation with their child because we think parents are particularly responsible for talking to their children about Jesus. We gave you some tools to help you follow up with them. I thought it would be helpful for you to get this feedback on that.

\nSpeaking of children and Kidzfest, on top of everything else, this past Friday, I became a new grandpa again. Isn’t that awesome? We have grandchild number 10! Stephen and Caroline are still at Duke Hospital. Hopefully, we’ll get to see that baby soon. We’re excited about a new grandson; God is good! Amen.

\nNow, speaking of families, I want to take a \u201cfamily tour,\u201d starting back in the fifties. Let\u2019s look at some TV families; let’s see how good you are at telling us who these TV stars are. Not so much who they are, but <\/i><\/span> who the name of the TV show. (Series of pictures of family pop up for the congregation to guess.) Did <\/i><\/span> you notice the changes? Not just the fact that it went from black and white to color? I still remember when our house got a color TV. Who remembers that? Were you alive whenever your family got their first color TV? So, five of us remember. Now, we all have gray hair. The rest of you people are so deprived. Hollywood has changed its depiction of the American family through the years, really reflecting the changes that we see in our culture.

\nLooking at the 2020 census and comparing it to 1960, here’s some of the changes <\/i><\/span> statistically. You might take note of, in 1960, the average age for a man to get married was 20 years old. The average age for a woman to get married was 20 years old. That was in 1960. In 2020, the average age for a man to get married is 29 years old and, for a woman, it’s 27 years old. They wait longer to get married, if at all. In 1960, of Americans, male and female were married by age 30, but in 2020, only 50% are married by age 30. More and more, we are either delaying marriage later or opting out of it altogether. The percentage of Americans who never got married stayed single their whole life. In 1960, it was 7%, and today it’s 35% of Americans who never get married. The divorce rate in 1960 was 17%. By the 70\u2019s, it had climbed to 50% and stayed there until 2020. There was a slight decline in 2020 of the divorce rate, but it’s pretty much been flat throughout the last 50 years. In 1960, the <\/i><\/span> age for someone, either the father or the mother, when their first child was born for a man was 25 years old and for a woman it was 20 years old. Today, the age of the father when the first child was born is 30 years, on average, and for a woman, 27 years. So, you can see that women are delaying marriage, probably because of education and\/or career. They’re, on average, waiting until their late twenties, early thirties to have their first child. In 1960, the average number of children per family was 3.62. In other words, around four kids on average. Today, it’s 1.7. If you do the math on that fertility rate, it’s not even going to replace the generations. 1.7 is less than what you would call replacing mom and dad if it continues. In 1960, the percentage of children that lived in a house where both of their parents were in their first marriage was 73%. These children grew up <\/i><\/span> in a house with their biological mom and dad who were married. In 2020 it was 45%. The percentage of blended families in 1960 was 14%. Today, it’s about the same \u2013 16%. Here’s an interesting statistic: the percentage of children that live in a single parent home \u2013 most of these are female single parent moms. In 1960, it was 9% of American homes. Today, it’s 26%. 1 out of four kids are growing up in a single parent home. By the way, 26% is the highest percentage of single parent homes in the world and it\u2019s in the United States. I’m not sure that we want to be number one, but we’re number one in single parent families, most of them women. Those are just a few statistics.

\nI’m not making commentary at this point about whether it’s good or bad, but, it’s definitely a change. You can make your own observations. I’ll say this though; how you grew up has a lot to do with who you are today. Your family had a lot to do with <\/i><\/span> shaping you now. Some of us grew up in great families and we’ve been blessed. Some of us grew up in dysfunctional families. The truth is nobody grew up in a perfect family. Nobody did. We all have a certain degree of dysfunction in our families. For some of us, we grew up in a household where the father was \u201cabsentee.\u201d He was there, but he wasn’t really there. He wasn’t really engaged or maybe he was too engaged. He was abusive. We all have been marked by certain kinds of fathers. We’ve been marked by our mothers. Maybe she was loving. Maybe she was depressed a lot. Maybe she had an addiction. Maybe there were some other things that kept her from being fully engaged as a mom. We all grew up in different houses with different kinds of troubles. Maybe there was a divorce in your family growing up;it<\/i><\/span>has affected you.

\nMaybe there was a death in your family; you lost your mom or your dad. That’s what happened to my family. When I was eight years old, my 39 year old father died of cancer. I’m the oldest of four kids. I’m one of those statistics. I grew up in a single parent home from the time I was eight. I will say this, though; my mom knew how to do something – she knew how to make sure everybody at my house knew that they had a Father in heaven. Even though we had a fatherless home, we all looked to the Lord as our Father. You see, it makes a difference if you have the Lord in your house. He can be a blessing to your family, regardless of the baggage that maybe you’re dragging in here today from your family background. You see, God wants to bless your family. That’s <\/i><\/span> what we’re going to be talking about as we look at Ephesians chapter three today, because the Apostle Paul prayed a prayer that God would bless the family.

\nI believe that, as we look at this prayer from the apostle Paul, we can say, \u2018Lord, let this blessing be on us.\u2019 We’re going to be seeing, as we look here, that there are four steps to coming under God’s blessing for our family.

\nLet’s look at Ephesians 3:14-21 (ESV) 14 \u201cFor this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith\u2014that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all thefullness <\/i><\/span> fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.\u201d

\nHow to experience God\u2019s blessing on your family:\n1. Bow to the Father\u2019s authority.

\nYou’ll notice in this prayer that it’s a trinitarian prayer that he prays to the Father, the Spirit and the Son. You can see that he begins by praying to the Father, in verse 14. Then, by the time he gets to verse 16, he’s talking about the Spirit. In verse 17, he’s talking about Jesus; he’s talking about Christ.

\nVerse 14, \u201cFor this reason I bow my knees before the Father,\u201d You see, the way the Jews would pray in those days was <\/i><\/span> not so much on their knees, but they would pray looking up; that would have been the normal pattern of a Jewish prayer. Here, Paul says he’s on his knees. Now, certainly he’s praying, but I think something else is in view here. He’s submitting to the Father’s authority. He’s saying, \u2018I’m coming under Your authority. I’m bowing my knees and not just my physical knees, but the \u201cknees\u201d of my heart to your way. I want to build my family your way. I want to come under Your authority with the way I raise my family.

\nThis passage begins with an unusual phrase, \u201cFor this reason;\u201d for what reason is he talking about? He’s really talking about everything he said in the first two chapters of Ephesians, where he’s talking about the grace and the wonder that, because of Jesus, we’ve been adopted into God’s family. He says that because of this wondrous thing that God has done to make us part of His family <\/i><\/span>, let’s bow our knees for this reason. He actually started chapter three off that way he said, \u201cFor this reason.\u201d Then, one commentator says that he followed a \u201choly rabbit trail\u201d from chapters 2 to 13. He kind of went back and got all happy about how God had called him.

\nNotice the word, \u201cFather,\u201d in verse 14. Notice the word \u201cfamily,\u201d in verse 14. Interestingly enough, Paul is making a play on words here when he talks about every family being named after the Father. What does that mean?

\nIn Greek, the Greek word for father is \u201cpat\u0113r.\u201d That’s where we get the word, \u201cpaternal.\u201d The Greek word for family is \u201cpatria.\u201d So, you can see the <\/i><\/span> play on words, where the name of the family comes from. It comes from \u201cpatria;\u201d it comes from \u201cpat\u0113r.\u201d He’s making a play on words, but more than that, I think he’s saying the family is God’s idea; He named it. He came up with it, it wasn’t our idea. God came up with the family.

\nNotice what he says; you can’t get very far in the bible before God starts talking about the family. He talks about how he made man and woman. Genesis 1:27 (ESV) \u201cSo God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.\u201d God made humanity. He’s the creator. He made it; He has a right to name it and He has a right to tell us what it’s supposed to look like. We begin there with this foundational understanding, of how our family should look and how we should lead it. God made us . <\/i><\/span>

\nThen he says in Genesis 2:24 (ESV) \u201cTherefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\u201d In this scripture, we picture God as the pastor. He’s the officiant at the first wedding; He brings Adam and Eve together and He says this scripture over them. God had a purpose for marriage. Long before there were nations. Long before there were any other human institutions. The very first building block of human society was the family, marriage and children. That’s where God started; before there was the church, there was the family. God built this basic building block that all society rises or falls on \u2014 the family. So much of what we can see, whether it’s good or bad, in our society today in America has a lot to do with the American family. God is the originator of the family.

\nA man named Joshua took over as the \u201cfather,\u201d as it were, the leader of Israel <\/i><\/span>. Moses had died and He appointed Joshua. God gave Joshua these instructions in Joshua 1:8 (NLT) \u201cStudy this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.\u201d I think that’s still good instruction today for fathers and mothers. Meditate on the word of God. Let the word of God be your blueprint. Let it be what you follow for building the family. Bow your knees. Submit to God and His word for how you build the family.

\nYou don’t have to get very far in Joshua before the people of Israel that he was leading into the Promised Land begin to look at other ways of life. They begin to say, \u2018well, wait a minute. We could build our family like this. We could raise our kids like that. We could pursue these other things.\u2019 They became influenced by worldly models of how to do the family. We <\/i><\/span> see Joshua say this to the people of Israel. He says, Joshua 24:15 (ESV) \u201c… choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.\u201d He was already concerned by the fact that they were becoming more worldly and the way they built their families. He said, \u2018I can’t control what you do, but as for my house, we’re going to serve the Lord.\u2019

\nHave you made that decision today? Have you decided fathers and mothers, \u2018As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord?\u2019 That’s the first step to receiving God’s blessing, saying, \u2018I bow my knees. I bow my heart to the Lord.\u2019 \u2018Lord, I want to build a family based on what You say, not on what the world says.\u2019

\nWe live in a day today that <\/i><\/span> many call \u201cthe postmodern world.\u201d It’s a world that has left behind absolute truth and has moved towards relativism. Relativism is this idea that there is no truth and whatever truth you have that’s your truth. \u2018You be you; I’ll be me.\u2019 It sounds good on the outside, but boy, it sure affects the family over time.

\nIt affects the generations over time. Did you see that word, \u201cgenerations,\u201d in verse Paul is saying that not only does it affect your family today, but it will affect the generations to come. If you decide to put your family under the Lord or not, it’ll affect your kids, your children’s children and your children’s children’s children. That’s the influence God has given us in our families.

\nThe family is being confused today by this relativism, this sense of lack of truth, and so we have confusion with sexuality and marriage. Marriage is being put off later and later. In many cases, there are no commitmentsat <\/i><\/span>all.

\nThere was a time in the 60\u2019s, 70\u2019s, 80\u2019s and maybe even in the 90\u2019s where young people would see marriage as the beginning of adulthood. Have you heard this phrase, \u201cadulting?\u201d If you have heard this, it’s this new thing. It’s a new word that the millennials and Generation Z are using \u2013 \u2018we’re adulting now.\u2019 It’s like they’re practicing being adults. \u201cAdulting.\u201d It used to be that marriage was the first thing you did and then you were an adult. Now, marriage is the last thing you do; it’s like the \u201ccapstone\u201d of \u201cadulting.\u201d Marriage gets later and later or not at all, but marriage is a commitment. It is a foundational commitment.

\nThere’s a lot of confusion about sexuality, cohabitation, premarital sex, adultery and homosexuality. All of these things are up in the air because <\/i><\/span> there’s no truth in the culture today. There is confusion about gender roles; the loss of traditional husband and wife roles. What we call \u201cmasculinity\u201d and \u201cfemininity\u201d has been thrown up and tossed around. Somehow, the male and femaleness that God created for us is malleable; we can decide to go against our own biology and decide that we can be whatever gender we want to be or a combination of the two. These are all things that come from saying that we will no longer bow our knees to the absolute truth that God is creator and He gets to say what’s true and false. We remove that and we are afloat without an anchor in a sea of cultural relativism. We see these changes.

\nEvery family will be built on some authority. What authority are you building your family on today? \u201cAs for me in my house, we will serve the Lord.\u201d Have you said that yet? That’s the first step . <\/i><\/span> Here is the second step:

\n2. Depend on the Spirit\u2019s power.

\nBow to the father’s authority; depend on the Spirit’s power. Here’s the thing: You can look and you can read this; here’s what you’ll find out very quickly. You are not perfect at this. You keep making mistakes. Of course, you’re not perfect; your family’s not perfect. You need someone to give you the power to keep God’s word. Someone to encourage you and come alongside you. That’s the Spirit’s job. That’s what the Spirit does.

\nI told you that it was a \u201ctrinitarian\u201d prayer. We started off with the Father. Now in verse 16, \n\u201cthat according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being.\u201d

\nDads, if you want to be the best dad, you can ask the Holy Spirit to give you the power to do it. You’ll fall short,but the Spirit <\/i><\/span> within you will strengthen you. Moms, you want to be the best mom you can be, too. You can come under the leadership of the Father. You want the Spirit to empower you, to strengthen you to do this.

\nThe word, \u201cpower,\u201d here comes from the Greek word, \u201cdunamis.\u201d It’s where we get the word, \u201cdynamite.\u201d This is real power, to be what God has called you to be.

\nOne of the marks of moms and dads today, if you look at social media and you talk to moms and dads, is fatigue. They are tired, with busy schedules without any margin. Because we \u201cbow down\u201d to the idols of materialism and consumerism, we all have to work. Mom and dad both work. Sometimes, mom and dad, both, work two jobs each so they can have the biggest, \u201cbestest\u201d house, the best cars, the best vacations, you fill in the blanks. Somehow, we think that is what’s going to make for a great family. But that’s not it<\/i><\/span>; be filled with the Holy Spirit and let the Spirit direct your path and He will give you margin in your life where you will make room for the rest. I believe in quality, I can’t get the quantity timing with my kids, but we try to have quality time. Listen, there’s no quality time without quantity time, you have to spend time together as a family. You have to make room for it, You have to make it a priority. You say, \u2018Gary, this is so hard. What you’re telling us is so hard.\u2019 It’s beyond hard; it’s impossible without the Spirit empowering you to do it, but He will give you power to do it and direction to do it.

\nNotice the word, \u201cstrengthened,\u201d here. It means, \u201cto make strong or empower.\u201d Somebody is sitting here thinking, \u2018I feel weak.\u2019 Well, that’s good because the Spirit is strong.

\nHere’s what Jesus promised in <\/i><\/span> Acts 1:8 (ESV) \n\u201cBut you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you\u2026\u201d The Spirit wants to live within you, believer, and empower you. If we depend on our own power, we will fail.

\nNotice what it says in Psalm 127:1 (ESV) \u201cUnless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain\u2026\u201d If you try to do it in your own strength, you’ll fail. But if you’ll do it in the power of the Lord and say, \u2018Lord, build my house. I give You my house.\u2019 Someone’s here this morning and you have a teenager that’s going in the opposite direction than the way you brought them up and your heart is broken. Give them to the Lord. Keep talking to them about The Lord. Keep loving them. Don’t give up on that child. Don’t give up on that teenage son or daughter. Continue to turn them over to the Lord. Someone’s having trouble in your marriage this morning. You came in, you had a fight on the way to church today. Somebody’s looking at me <\/i><\/span> right now, wondering, \u2018Who told you pastor?\u2019 Nobody told me. I’m just looking at the law of averages based on how many people are in here. Somebody had a fight on the way to church.

\nI can remember when we were bringing our kids to church. We had three little \u201ccrumb snatchers\u201d in the backseat with various levels of car seats. I used to look in the rear view mirror on the way to church and one would yell, \u2018He touched me.\u2019 Then, another would yell, \u2018No, I didn’t.\u2019 Then, an argument would start. The arguing would get so bad, that sometimes, I would dislocate my right arm on the way to church trying to pinch every person I could pinch in the back seat. Why are you preaching on the family? Well, I was trying to drive and get to church on time. I would say, \u201cRobin honey, would you get my right arm and put it back in the front seat please <\/i><\/span>?\u201d

\nParenting is hard. It’s hard work. I know that some of you had a fight on the way to church today and you need the power of the Holy Spirit. If you try to build the house yourself, you’ll tear it down.

\nIt says in Proverbs 14:1 (NLT) \u201cA wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.\u201d There’s some people in this world today, they don’t know that they’re doing it, but they’re basing the way they parent, live in marriage and manage their family on the world’s values. One day, they’ll look back and realize they tore their house down with their own hands. The Lord wants to build your house; He wants to bless your house.

\nThere’s a troubling statistic among church people: 7 out of 10 , that is 70%, of our young people, some who were on the stage singing for us earlier <\/i><\/span> in the service, will grow up in our church and seven out of 10 of them, when they leave home, will leave church, as well. That’s the national average for American christians that attend church. Why is that? Well, we don’t know exactly why, but it might be because of the way parents have made priorities and how they’ve ordered priorities in their own way rather than according to the spiritual empowerment and guidance from the Spirit. Maybe they have said, \u2018You can’t opt out of school; you have to get an education. You can’t opt out of sports teams because, maybe, you can get a scholarship to college. You can’t opt out of music lessons because, maybe, you’ll go on \u201cAmerican Idol\u201d one of these days.\u2019 Church, though, is optional; church is wherever we can fit it in. Faith is optional. Whether you have said that verbally or not, you chose church by your priority system, so, when your kids left home, they opted out of God <\/i><\/span> , faith and church. I pray that most of them come back around when they have kids. Some of you came back to church after being out of church for a long time. You came back because you had kids and one of them said, \u2018Daddy, who is God?\u2019 You made a decision to go back to church and figure this out together. Good for you. Let the Spirit empower us. Here’s the third step:

\n3. Dwell in Christ\u2019s love.

\nBow to the Father’s authority and allow the Spirit to empower. The third step is to dwell in Christ\u2019s love. We’re down to verse 17 now, \u201cso that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith\u2014that you, being rooted and grounded in love. So that Christ may live, abide in you.

\nThere’s a particular virtue in view here of Christ. If you were to describe Christ, the singular most virtue, that would be the most profound and obvious, would have to be the word, \u201clove.\u201d Don’t you agree that the most loving Person in human history is the man, Jesus Christ ? <\/i><\/span> Here, Paul prayed this prayer for the family, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith and that your family would be rooted and grounded in love.

\nHe uses two metaphors here: one is an organic one from plant life; that your family would have deep roots, down into God’s love. Down in the love of Christ, so that when the winds of change blow and when the storms of life come, you’d be rooted in the love of Christ.

\nThis word, \u201clove,\u201d is the Greek word, \u201cAgape.\u201d It’s not the world’s kind of love. It’s unconditional, sacrificial love. It’s the kind of love that lays its life down for another. That your life would be rooted with deep roots. Is that the mark of your family today? Do you have a loving family? Is love the mark of your house? How do you get that? Put your roots down into Christ, let the love of Christ flow to you and through you to others.

\nThen he uses another metaphor. He, first, says that you might <\/i><\/span> be rooted and then, that you might be \u201cgrounded.\u201d Well, that’s more of an architectural, building term, that you may have a foundation of love, that your house would rest on the rock of Christ’s love.

\nPaul is not finished; let’s talk about the measurements of love. He says that you 18 \u201cmay have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,\u201d It’s like he has to get out of measuring tape and measure some things. It seems legitimate to say that this love of Christ is broad enough to encompass everyone, all of mankind. His love is broad enough to encompass you. It is long enough to last for all eternity. It never quits. This love never quits; it’s deep enough to reach the <\/i><\/span> most degraded and hurt person that’s here this morning. It goes deep enough to get even you and it goes high enough so that it lasts for all of eternity and exalts us to the heavens. This is the love he talks about. May we have the strength of mind to comprehend with all believers and all the saints, the dimensions of this love in verse 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.

\nI want you to try to get your mind around the superlative that Paul is using here, that you might know that which is unknowable. Isn’t that beautiful? His love is so big. How are you going to get your arms around it? But, may you have the strength, as you plant deep roots down into the love of Jesus, that you get a glimpse, that you might actually comprehend that you might actually not just have knowledge of, which is understanding that was the earlier part, that you might have the strength to understand. and <\/i><\/span> to comprehend.

\nHe says in verse 19, \u201cto know.\u201d He switches words here. He uses the Greek word, \u201cginosko,\u201d which has the idea of experiential knowledge. This not just head knowledge, but heart knowledge that you may know the unknowable love of Jesus in your family.

\nHe’s not finished with his superlatives. Verse 19, \u201cthat you may be filled with all the fullness of God. \u201c God is infinite. That you may know the unknowable and be filled with the infinite; that’s how he’s praying for your family. I don’t know how to get my mind around this, but I pray that the Spirit would give me strength to comprehend and to know it, so that it’s poured out in me.

\nWhat kind of a grandparent do you want to be? Some of you are too young and you are thinking, \u2018I’m not even married; I’m still single.\u2019 Okay, but start thinking ahead, because you’re building yourself right now. What you’re going <\/i><\/span> to be is what you’re doing right now. It’s on every wrinkle on your face; it’s whether or not you’re frowning or smiling. Everything you’re doing right now, you’re building the future. I hope my grandchildren say, \u2018Papaw (that’s what they call me) loves me and he spends time with me.\u2019 I don’t necessarily want them to be proud of me or that I’m a pastor of a church or that I do things with them. I want them to know that I spend time with them and that I love them. I help them do things. I am patient with them. I want my roots to grow deeper and deeper into love, so that even when we get in the hot times of the summer, when the soil gets dry in life, I’m still drawing up love. Don’t you want that?

\nWhat does real love look like? Let\u2019s look at<\/i><\/span>1 John 4:10 (NLT) \u201cThis is real love\u2014not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.\u201d The kind of love we’re talking about is sacrificial love.

\n1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) 4 \u201cLove is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.\u201d That’s the kind of love that God wants to be the mark of your house, that you draw it up from the roots of Christ.

\nIn marriage counseling, it’s not unusual for me to hear a husband or a wife say that they want a divorce. When I’m <\/i><\/span> talking to them, one of them might say this, this is often what they’ll say, \u2018I don’t love him anymore.\u2019 I just don’t love her anymore.\u2019 The truth is, every marriage goes through seasons. Most marriages begin in \u201cspringtime.\u201d Everything’s coming up green; everything’s coming up roses. It’s easy to love in the springtime, when things are fresh and new. Then, with \u201csummer\u201d comes the heat; then the \u201cfall\u201d season comes and things start changing. The coldness of \u201cwinter\u201dbegins . But we can let Christ\u2019s love nourish in the heat of \u201csummer;\u201d we can draw up from the deep roots of love. We can let the beauty and the color of \u201cautumn\u201d be the mark of our lives, even though we don’t have as many hairs on our head and the ones we have have turned color. Even though we’re not physically what we were or not as attractive as we once were. All of these things are what conditional love bases itself on, but God’s kind of love, sacrificial love is unconditional. Sacrificial love says <\/i><\/span>, \u2018I love you as an act of the will. I love you because of a commitment, a covenantal relationship I have with you.\u2019

\nI’ve never heard, in marriage counseling, one say that they no longer love one of their children anymore. I’ve never heard parents say that to me. I’ve never heard one say, \u2018I don’t love this child anymore.\u2019 It seems like we come closer, no matter how fallen we are, in getting an idea of unconditional love toward our children. This is the kind of love that He wants us to have. Sometimes we go into the \u201cwinter,\u201d but if you draw from Christ’s love, He’ll help you \u201cthrow a log on the fire,\u201d so you can get the romance back. You can make a decision to keep a covenant and to keep on loving when the world would say, \u2018it’s okay if you don’t love him<\/i><\/span> anymore,\u2019 because the world’s best love is always just conditional love, but God gives us Christ\u2019s love, which is unconditional. Here’s number four; here’s the fourth step:

\n4. Reflect God\u2019s glory.

\nNow we’re talking about the legacy of the family; the generations of the family. You can see that at the end of this prayer. In verse 21, you see the word, \u201cglory.\u201d The purpose of the family, ultimately, is to be a blessing to us. But it’s also possible that our house might become a lighthouse in each of our neighborhoods. That, when people look at our families, they would say, \u2018wow, you guys did a good job.\u2019 If you say that to me, I will say, \u2018well, I did the best I could, but God did the job.\u2019 In fact, if you look at my children, people will say, \u2018how did you do that?\u2019 I’ll say back, \u2018look, it’s <\/i><\/span> by the mercy of God. I tried my best to mess them up because I’m a sinner saved by grace. There’s nothing, there’s no thing, there’s no good thing in me, but Jesus. And if you see anything good in my family or in my house, I will tell you, Jesus did it. My part was just to say, \u201cyes;\u201d just to allow, just to yield.\u2019 The more I’ve yielded, the more I’ve trusted and the more the blessings have flowed. Wherever I’ve resisted, doing it my own way, that’s where the trouble came, that. He wants your house to be like a lighthouse; to point to Him and give Him glory.

\nIn fact, as we look at that last verse, verse 21, \u201cto him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.\u201d I don’t have any great grandkids yet. My wife and I got an early start and we’ve got grandkids. I’m happy that I’m alive to see these 10 \u201cyounguns.\u201d Several of them <\/i><\/span> are saved but the rest of them are pagans. Y’all pray for them; we’re still waiting for them to receive the Lord. Even the ones that have been saved and baptized, we are still waiting for them to own their faith separate from us. Our oldest grandchild is 13 all the way down to two days old . We’re waiting to see how they turn out. Just imagine, if the Lord allows us to live long enough, my wife and I, that those oldest ones start having kids and we can see what we’ve planted in Christ, the foundation.

\nWhat is it going to look like throughout the generations? I’m talking about a legacy now, that belongs to Jesus, because of a decision some old people made to pray and follow Jesus. You can make that decision right now.

\nThere’s three biblical purposes for the family. The family was God’s idea.

\n(1) Mirror God\u2019s image.\nGenesis 1:27 (ESV) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female <\/i><\/span> He created them. Our first purpose of the family is to let the world see more of God in the way we love each other and treat each other and the way we live out what God taught us in His word.

\n(2) Mutually complete one another.\nEphesians 5:31-32 (NLT) As the Scriptures say, \u201cA man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.\u201d This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.\nSo when we mutually complete each other, even that is pointing to God.

\n(3) Multiply a godly legacy. \n(Gen. 1:22 \u201cBe fruitful and multiply)\nMalachi 2:15 (NLT) Didn\u2019t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.\u201d That’s a good instruction isn’t it, from the prophet Malachi?

\nWhat does God want from your family? Godly children. Now listen, you might be single, you might not have ever been married. How are <\/i><\/span> you going to bear Godly children? Well, it’s not just biology we’re talking about here. It’s also spiritual.

\nThis past week, we had several single people, unmarried people, serving with our children. You may be one of the leaders that led one of those little ones to Jesus this week. In a way, I would say to you that you are bearing Godly offspring just by being with the children.

\nRemember what Jesus said to people regarding children? He said, \u201cSuffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.\u201d I think it’s very important in the way we treat our children.

\nDo you want to see Jesus break the bond of generational sin in your family? Maybe, you grew up in a family and you’ve carried two big old trunks full of bad stuff that happened in your family when you were growing up. Do you want to pass that on to your children and grandchildren? Don’t you want to get it out, open it and sag<\/i><\/span> \u2018Wait a minute. That’s something that still hurts me to this day. I’m going to put that at the cross, I’m gonna get that out. Let me dump that. I don’t want any of that right there.\u2019 This is what you can do in the power of Jesus. You can break the chains of bondage from your family’s sins in the past and you can get a fresh piece of paper to write on today. In fact, you can say, \u2018You know what? I want some new clothing and some new possessions that I can pass on to my kids.\u2019 You can say, \u2018Holy Spirit, can You give me some love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Can I get some, through the Spirit, that I can pass on to my family? I don’t want to pass on to them what <\/i><\/span> I carried in.\u2019

\nEphesians 1:5 (NLT) \u201cGod decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.\u201d God wants you in His family. He wanted a family, so He made you. Would you give your life to Him today? If you’ve already done that, would you give it to Him afresh? Would you bow the knee to His authority? Would you depend on His spirit for power? Would you let the love of Jesus flow through your life? Would you ask Him to leave a legacy in your family so that your family reflects the glory of God?

\nLet’s pray. Lord Jesus, thank You for Your word. I pray, first of all. for that person that’s here today, that came in far from You. They don’t want to leave that way. Is that you, my friend? Right where you’re at, right in your seat, you can <\/i><\/span> pray to receive Jesus and begin the journey of following Jesus. You can pray like this right where you are. Just pray with me, \u2018Dear Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. I need a Savior. Would You come into my life, forgive me of my sin and make me the person You want me to be? I believe You died on the cross for me, that You were raised from the grave that You live today. Come and live in me and adopt me into Your family. I want you as my Lord and Savior. If you’re praying a prayer like that, what really matters is the faith in your heart. He will save you. Others are here today and you’re thinking about your house right now. You’re thinking about your family. Would you just talk to the Lord about it right now? If you’re a dad, pray, \n\u2018Lord, I pray You take away my anger, my frustration and replace it with love, joy and peace. Especially a big old dose of patience <\/i><\/span>.\u2019 Maybe you’re a mom here today and you’re just exhausted. Would you pray, \u2018Holy Spirit, would You energize me to do what You called me to do? The work isn’t finished, so do the work in me.\u2019 Maybe you’re here today and you’re bringing a whole lot of brokenness from your past. Would you just leave it at the cross and pray, \u2018Lord Jesus, I leave this with You. You said, \u201cCome unto me, you that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you res. Take My yoke upon you. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.\u201d Lord, I leave this burden with You and You give me that light one in exchange. Lord, I give You my family.\u2019 We pray it all now in Jesus’ name. Amen. \n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How has your family life marked you today? Some of you had a great family life growing up, but some of you are still trying to find healing from growing up in a dysfunctional family. And to be clear, no family is perfect. Every family has problems and challenges. Regardless of the kind of family you grew up in, there is hope and healing in Jesus!<\/p>\n

In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul prayed that believers would experience God\u2019s blessing on the family. We can experience God\u2019s blessing on our families. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":10720,"template":"","tags":[2037],"series":[2899],"scripture-book":[1316],"scripture-chapter":[1336],"speaker":[2007],"class_list":["post-10721","message","type-message","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-family","series-family-life-2022","scripture-book-ephesians","scripture-chapter-1336","speaker-gary-combs"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message\/10721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/message"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/message\/10721\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10720"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10721"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=10721"},{"taxonomy":"scripture-book","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/scripture-book?post=10721"},{"taxonomy":"scripture-chapter","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/scripture-chapter?post=10721"},{"taxonomy":"speaker","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.garycombs.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/speaker?post=10721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}